apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
