thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
