Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
