I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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