Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
