Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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