Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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