I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
