God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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