HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
