You just made me feel so damn special
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
