he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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