Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
