Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
