Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
