feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
