the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
