Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
