does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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