Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
