Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
