I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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