My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
