you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
