96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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