this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
