hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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