FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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