i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
