You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
