So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
