I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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