If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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