If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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