i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
