I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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