Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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