we're chasing vodka with high fives
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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