Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
