dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
