HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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