he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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