If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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