That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
