is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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