When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
