I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
