So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
