does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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