He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
