Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
