I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
